Blue Skies in a Red State
(1)- ( 'Blue Skies in a Red State')'The wrong Right' -- I went a huntin LIBERAL. I got Teddy Kennedy on the television screen and I give him one big a cussin. We don't take to no LIBERALs and their cut and run stuff in these here parts. We know the real problem though Bill Clinton!!!!! So let's keep them Evangelicals in for another term. (Five Hundred Wrasslers can't be wrong) Who else could give us the Rolling Black Out Next elections --Me-- I'm gonna cast my Sacred Vote for that Christian Right Wing. This Message was brough to you by ' The NATURAL ENERGY ORGANIZATIONS for the CONTINUATION OF NATIONAL STUPIFICATION ' N.E.O.C.O.N.S (2) (' She thinks who she is' ) Have you ever met one of those women who walk down the street and don't pay you no never mind when you whistle or tell em what great boobs they got? You know, the uppity type? ----Well this here is one of em (5)-( ' The Great debate'.) I Just saw those ' Thousand points of Light ' right next to that ' Card carrying member of the A.C.L.U.' There was this ' Giant Sucking Sound ' and he was ' No Jack Kennedy' How about a('Lower heating bill')!!!! How's that for a campaign slogan!!! I know JOHN KERRY shot himself in the foot and all that but jeez I have a pick up truck----It eats Gas~!!!-- and my chickens got to eat!! Hell the CNN is hintin I might have to shoot em all. No wonder their cluckin funny (3)-(' Cast the first Stone') When you think your saying or doing the right thing, and there's nothing anyone can say to change your mind ?-- When you can see what's wrong with everyone else and feel obligated to share your insights for their own good?--- JUST SHUT THE F*** UP.--- You could be wrong you know. There may not be 72 Virgins waiting for anyone (6)-- ( Was that you?) I lost my virginity behind a barn. I was ' Deflowered' by a young vixen who showed me there was more to life than cow dung and my gun. I have a Springfield 1873 45-70. Man is that a gun or what!--- Oh yeah,-- back to sex. I was what you might call a male chauubanism back then. Now I have seen the light (praise the Lord)--- Ahhh Linda, what can I say (7)-- 'Fat Girls at the VFW' (WHILE DRINKING HEAVILY) That was Joe Ford butchering the Tuba. He drinks Jack Daniels with a straw out of a paper cup and cerimonialy sticks his head in his tuba after every jam. Joe's a real rennesomse man. (What do you mean spell check?) We sound like shit but we sure had a lot of fun. Just give me them 250 pound dreams!!!! Feminist, ( please direct hate mail to cdbaby.com) (8)-Canal Street (by Moonlight) I up and took a trip to New York just to get a feel for the place. They towed my car away and charged me a 10 dollar 'Complaint Fee' for voicing my indignation. I got my car back and got rear ended in the West Village by a garbage truck. (Gay men, please direct hate mail to cdbaby.com) I love that City though. I stood on the corner drinking a cup of coffee and a yuppie threw a quater in it. What a town. Extraordinary (9)-- ('Color blind at the traffic light') I promise I'll never touch that stuff again, I swear, really, really.