My Cat Was Taking a Bath & Dead Skunk Perfume Plus
This is the first CD I put out. It's kind of a fun happy type CD with alot of humor and some good philosophy with folk pop songs and a little homeade rap. This CD first got played on WIBA fm when Sly in the Morning was still there. If you remember listening to Sly in the Morning you might recognize the title Purple Bananas On The Moon or Pink Pants.Dr Demento fans also might have heard Purple Bananas on the Moon and now you can hear both those songs at Apple iTunes so I hope you will check them out there or check out the few sound clips here or how about reading the Lyrics: 1.My Cat Was Taking A Bath & Dead Skunk Perfume plus 23 other songs 1. My Cat Was Taking A Bath 1.I was riding home late one night When there in my house I saw a light And when I got inside Right before my very eyes Chorus: My cat was taking a bath My cat was taking a bath It was a quarter to 3 And I don't believe My cat was taking a bath 2.Well maybe I had something to drink Or maybe I just couldn't quite think But my ma saw it to And she said of coarse it's true (go back to chorus) 2. Purple Bananas On The Moon 1.There's purple bananas on the moon I'm not quite sure but they said it was true I'd go there and find out for myself But I don't have the time or the wealth I'd read a book about it too But they say books can lie to you 2.Besides, they convinced me 'ride this flying horse' 'It's the best we've got but we'll sell it, of course' I know what your saying; the horse is a goat with the price I paid, how could I say no Besides they convinced me it really has wings I'm going to fly to the moon, eat purple bananas, and sing Purple bananas on the moon 3. The Worst Restaurant Come to our restaurant Come to our restaurant Bring your family too Come to our restaurant Come to our restaurant We'll serve you Porky Pine Stew It's the finest Dandelion Pie Soup of the day is Skunk Mushroom The Parking spots they're all occupied No Bathrooms No Bathrooms The Music is all noise: Aughhhhh ! But you should see the menus They're all written in different foreign languages So you can't argue You can't argue with the cook 4. I Want You To Marry Me I want you to marry me I want you to marry me Broken teeth I'm living in poverty I want you to marry me I want you to marry me I'm a real slob I don't got a job I want you to marry me I want you to marry me I'm ugly and mean I can't fix a thing I want you to marry me I want you to marry me I never shave or take a bath But who cares about that I want you to marry me I want you to marry me I've got warts and flies I might even have a disease And she said: I will marry you I will marry you I'm a glutton for punishment I'll marry any husband I will marry you 5. Scratch in the Record Scratch Scratch Scratch Scratch Scratch in the record Scratch in the record Scratch in the record Scratch in the record A brand new record Brand new rec Brand new rec Brand new rec Scratch Scratch Scratch Scratch Don't you like it Don't you like it Don't you like it Don't you like it Scratch in the record Scratch in the record Scratch in the record Scratch in the record A brand new record Brand new record Brand new record Brand new record Scratch in the record Scratch in the record Scratch in the record Scratch in the record Scratch in the record Scratch in the record Scratch in the record Scratch in the record Scratch in the record Scratch in the record Scratch 6. A Flower Grew 1.A flower grew Upon a brook A million went To take a look It was so cute It was so small And many watched As it grew tall Chorus: A flower grew A flower grew A flower grew upon a brook A flower grew A flower grew A flower grew cause Jesus cared 2.In a flower's life The time is short When winter comes They live no more But this one plant Had stayed alive While other plants Could not survive 3.And as it lived Pass through the cold It got to be So very old I guess it was So very glad Because it still lives Upon the land 4.The People watch As it is there I guess it stayed Cause Jesus cared 7. The one Chord Song This song only has one chord That's why your bored This song only has one chord That's why your bored One chord Your bored Your bored One chord 8. The Shortest & Even Shorter This is the shortest song I ever wrote The shortest song I ever wrote The shortest song I ever wrote The shortest song I ever wrote This ones even shorter This ones even shorter Even short One note 9. Pink Pants 1.Well you can sing and you can dance You might be real good when it comes to romance You maybe able to tell a diamond from a glance You ain't done nothing 'til you wear pink pants Chorus: Pink Pants Pink Pants Said all you Uncles And all you Aunts All you Critters And all you Cats You ain't done nothing 'til you wear pink pants 2.It's the latest fad, the latest scene It causes the woman to scream! Scream! Scream! You may think I'm just a little bit obscene But you ain't done nothing 'til you wear pink pants 3.Get you Uncle some Get your Grandma some Your late great Uncle Nate All your relatives Friends too 10. My Daddy Wore a Raccoon Hat My Daddy wore a raccoon hat He wore it all around It wore it to this city He wore it to that town My Daddy wore a raccoon hat He wore it everyday He wore it one time In a big parade ! My Daddy wore a raccoon hat He like it very much He took it to the cleaners For that special touch My Daddy wore a raccoon hat While standing for his views They took a picture of him And put it in the Daily News One day it was missing I guess it ran away But they saw it in the zoo Just the other day My Daddy wore a raccoon hat He wore it every day He wore it one time In a big parade ! 11. My Bicycle Riding down the road on my bicycle Having a good time Hoping this will never end Feeling fine Feeling fine I'm going down to that local mall I'm going to get me a chocolate chip icecream cone Cause that's one of my favorite flavors That I really like That I really like Well sometimes you go real fast Other times you kind of go slow Sometimes you stop Than you go go go go Go go go 12.Let's Go Throw The Frisbee 1.When I got nothing else to do My friends all hanging around me too Here's something that's kind of cool Let's go throw the Frisbee 2.You and me and everyone Just hanging around and having fun Out in the shade or out in the sun Let's go throw the Frisbee 3.It looks kind of like a U.F.O. Oh know ! I caught it with my toe Betty,Sue and even Joe Let's go throw the Frisbee 13. Maybe You think I'm Weird Maybe you think I'm Weird But you haven't seen yourself in the mirror Maybe you think I'm strange But you haven't seen what you look like these days Chorus: If the shoe fits Wear it If the shoe fits Wear it If you think it's true And it might be to If the shoe fits Wear it Just cause I don't dress like you Don't mean I'm not cool Just cause I don't dress like you Well maybe your the fool 14. Hand Hand Shake Shake Shake *Chorus Hand hand shake shake shake-shake shake hand Hand hand shake shake shake-shake shake hand Hand hand shake shake shake-shake shake hand And that's how you do the handshake my friend You want to me her and she wants to meet him She wants to meet him and he wants to meet her She wants to meet her and he wants to meet him They want to meet us and and we want to meet them* Let's all do the hand shake shake shake It's real easy to do even your friend Bill or your Uncle Jake Can reach out their hand and grab another hand and shake And that's how you do the Hand Shake my friend* 15. The Latest Elvis Imitator He's the lastest Elvis imitator Singing Elvis songs from a boat from the equator Drinking champagne and acting real cool But he's not real,he's just a fool Trying to be someone else Just so he can get all that wealth And now that he got his record contract He's gonna bring Elvis back To the world and to the stage See him on the front page Of every fan magazine you ever seen Isn't he a real dream Wait til he comes to your town Flirts with all the women all around Sings 50 million Elvis songs Makes you all sing along After 10 years or maybe so One day a mustache he does grow (Female Fan): Hey your Elvis don't you know Elvis didn't have a mustache, No! (Elvis Imitator): Well I'm Elvis and I'm the King And I can do anything (Female Fan): Well if your Elvis why aren't you dead ? (Elvis Imitator): I've been really well fed 16. Thorn in the Flesh 1.What if the rapture don't come when it's most convient ? What if God chooses for you a martyr death ? Or maybe He has plans to make you unfamous and poor ? Would you,could you still be greatful or do you want more ? Chorus: Oh it's easy to be christian when the going is well And we always want things that look so swell But what if it's a thorn in the flesh And you prayed and you prayed but God says accept 2.What if scolars and teachers start to praise your work ? But you come to a moment in life when you got to make a decision that hurts ? And you know all your friends leave you and family treats you like a jerk ? Or you get put in prison for something you didn't deserve ? 17. Funky Funky Chorus Funky Funky Funky Funky Funky Funky Funky Funky Funky Funky Funky Funky Aww-Aww Funky 1.Your the girl that I adore Your the girl I love before You're the girls I adore Aww-Aww Funky 2.See her with the orange suit on To her all the guys do run See her with the orange suit on Aww-Aww Funky 3.Well get out there and start dancing now Show the people you've got the moves Get out there and start dancing Aww-Aww Funky 18. We Will Still Be Friends We will still be friends Though stories may not end The way we want them to Rivers don't always run smooth We don't always get to make the rules But still we must dream And if we can succeed We'll shine brighter than The brightest light beam Oh I didn't reach out to you No you reach out to me Made me want to do Things I didn't see I'm broken hearted fool But it's more just a fantasy I have learn a lot from you And I've earn More than just a story or two Though we may not always be together Still we've got memories we can cherish forever Think of me and I'll think of you Smile upon the morning dew I hope you are so happy I hope you reach your destiny And may your love be ever free May your love be ever free May your love be ever free May your love be ever free May your love be Ever Free Oh we may not always be together Still we've got memories we can cherish forever I Love You 19. Yippy Yippy Yippy Yippy O Yippy yippy yippy yippy o All the way to Idaho Yippy yippy yippy yippy o Get along little doggies Get along little dogs Get along little doggies Doggieos Well I knew a guy he had a riffle And he used to hunt and shoot crow I knew a guy he had a riffle Until he forgot it was loaded and shot off his toe He forgot it was loaded and shot off his toe Well you buried your Grandma You said a prayer over her You buried your Grandma Then who's that sleeping in that rocking chair Who's that sleeping in that rocking chair Well this verse is to a drunk He gave up cigarettes because of cancer Then he took up drinking beer Now he's reducing his life even faster Reducing his life even faster Well this verse is to a country western singer He wrote a lot of good songs And then he wrote some about God Then he got arrested for doing wrong Got arrested for doing wrong Well what are doing next Friday night What are doing tomorrow What are you doing right now Well how about if I just say hello How about if I just say hello 20 Garbage Rap They say it's garbage that's what they say They say it's garbage throw it away They don't realize it has potential to stay They don't realize it could be fixed up some day They say it's garbage they don't even care They say it's garbage they frown at it and stare They say it's garbage they don't give it a chance But boy are they shocked when they find out it can dance Oh Yeah ! Oh Yeah ! Oh Yeah ! Yeah ! Yeah ! When they get sunshine they want shade When they get a soda they want a lemonade They don't want tulips they want roses instead but when they get them they only want the color red Oh Yeah ! Oh Yeah ! Oh Yeah ! Yeah ! Yeah ! They say it's garbage that's what they say They say it's garbage throw it away They don't realize it has potential to stay They don't realize it could be fixed up some day They say it's garbage that's what they say They say it's garbage throw it away They don't realize it has potential to stay They don't realize it could be fixed up some day Oh Yeah ! Oh Yeah ! Oh Yeah ! Yeah ! Yeah ! So when you paint some beautiful scene Of some hillside or forest you dreamed Don't be surprised to hear them say It's only garbage throw it away 21. I Need You & You Need Me I need you, You need me, We need them, and they need us So I'll help you,You help me.We'll help them,and they'll help us But if I don't help you,You don't help me,We don't help them,And they don't help us Then we'll be in a heck of a shape because everyone will be selfish So I'll help you,you help me,we'll help them,and they'll help us Then everything will be just find because no one will be selfish Oh oh I need you Oh oh you need me Oh oh I'll help you Oh oh help me 22. Never Go On A Date with a Theif Never go on a date with a thief He might just take your TV No matter how good looking they are Never trust them to the keys to your car Never show them where You put your diamond ring Your ruby shaped in a pair Or your golden things Your valuables you want to keep Never go on a date with a thief Never go on a date with a thief When they come it's better to leave They bring you diamonds really hot From jail will keep you not And no matter what their exterior Even if they seem to care Always keep in mind Poison comes in pretty designs I repeat Never go on a date with a thief Never go on a date with a thief No matter how sweet They might lie to you And act like it's true And when the money's gone The truth will really dawn It will be a reality When your friend you no more see If you don't want a lot of grief Never go on a date with a thief Honey can I have the keys to the car ? 23.Dead Skunk Perfume 1.When I first met you I thought you were wise I thought your Ideas were real intelligent How was I to know That you were really crazy And that Dead Skunk Perfume you would invent Chorus: Well it stinks and it's lousy And it smells like dead onions Or even something worse: Dead people in the tomb Don't open the bottle If you should find it Don't go out and buy Dead Skunk Perfume 2.Well I used to go out with A real pretty lady She loved me and she smelled just like a rose But somehow you convinced me That you were better So now when we go out I hold up my nose/(go back to chorus)/ Bridge: Dead Skunk Perfume will kill your neighbors/Dead Skunk Perfume will kill you as well/And if you die with that smell on you/God'll kick you out of heaven and you'll go to (Well I hope not)/(back to chorus)/ 24. I've Got the Blue//Then You've Got The Blue/More of I've Got The Blues I've got the blues Got the blues I've got the blues I'm all blue ahoo hoo hoo I've got the blues Got the blues I'm blue I'm blue I'm blue I'm blue I'm blue I'm blue I'm blue Well you know it's Monday Or it's Tuesday Or it's Wednesday Or then It's Thursday-Thursday ? It's Friday Saturday Or then it's Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday Sunday all the time Well some people They get the reds you know something like Pete Rose And some people They turn all green Or some people Just turn orange Or something in between yeah Something in between But you know I get the blues I get the blues My face is blue My hair is blue My teeth are blue My skin is blue I'm blue I'm blue Through and through I'm blue You know it's true Well I'm depressed Yeah I'm depressed I got up to get dressed But all I could find was a dress I'm depressed Oppressed Distressed To excess I'm just depressed Well you know sometimes we get the newspaper And sometimes we got to look all over the yard for it And sometimes we find it on the roof And sometimes we just don't get the paper You know it's all bad news anyway And sometimes we get that good news mail But most of the time we get the bad news mail But most of the time when we get the mail It's bills Bills Bills Bills Or then it's junk mail Blah blah blah Blab blab blab Wowwwww ! Gosh Gosh Oh ee owe yeah Owe ee oh Well I went up to this Hippy dude I was thinking maybe He could help me out I said could you spare a dollar He said peace, love, get a job Peace, love, get a job And a friend of my friend You know he has a car And you know he park it In the Emergency zone You know he was going to move it In just minute But forgot about it And later they tolled it away Later they tolled it way And another friend of mine he has a car You know sometimes It actually starts And sometimes It stalls And sometimes we've got to walk real far Sometimes we've got walk real far Kazoo solo Well my girlfriend She don't go out with me She went out With my brother And she went out With my best friend And she went out With My Father My Father My Father She went with my Father their married And my girlfriend She's got red hair But last week It was black And yesterday It was green And tomorrow Tomorrow Tomorrow Tomorrow Tomorrow it'll be blue Some people say The Grass is greener On the other side of the fence Well went over there To check it out I found weeds weeds snake snakes Snakes weeds weeds snakes Well the morrow of the story is Be content with what you've got You can be content Then be prepared for the punishment Be prepared for the punishment Oh I get the blues I get the blues I get the blues I'm all blue ahoo hoo hoo I get the blues I get the blues I'm blue I'm blue I'm blue I'm blue I'm blue I'm blue I'm blue Well there's a monster And it's climbing on your back And you go and get your 45 To shoot it But you miss it And it eats your nose It cost a lot stitches And a million bucks And you don't have blue cross And you don't have red shield And your mother won't pay for it And your friends don't care And your girlfriend's left you And you don't know what your gonna do So they come over to your house To repossess your valuables And it really bothers Well then my friend Well then my friend You've got the blues You've got the blues You've got the blues Well your girlfriend She left you And you love her so much And you cared for her And you dated her For 16 years And right before You were going to be married I mean you made plans And you passed out invitations And you were engaged And all that money You know right before It was all going to come true She left you Well then my friend Well then my friend Well then my friend You've got the blues You've got the blues You've got the blues Well you worked for The company For 35 years Or should I say 60 And you gave your life And you worked and drudged And drudged and worked They demoted you They promoted They promoted you some more They paid you alot But 5 years Before you retired They fired you Well then my friend Well then my friend Well then my friend You've got the blues You've got the blues You've got the blues Well I got the blues Yeah I get the blues You know they can even Happen to you And you know It's true The President gets them too The President gets them too Well I guess that this Is the end of my song But if I decide To change my mind Won't mean that life Is any easier Just means I decided not to give up Just means I decided not to give up Now if there is any reason Why I should discontinue this song Please raise your hand For if you like I'll sing it all night long Or at least until you go bizerk Or at least until you go bizerk You'll get the blues You'll get the blues You'll get the blues You'll be all blue hoo hoo hoo hoo You'll get the blues You get the blues Blue Blue Blue Blue Blue Blue Blue 25. Jesus is the Joy when you've got the Blues 1.Jesus is the Joy when you've got the BLues Jesus is the Joy,you know it's true Just start to Praise Him Feel Joy within Jesus is the Joy when you've got the BLues 2.Jesus is the Peace when strife won't cease You know he's going to give you Release Just start to Praise Him Feel Peace within Jesus is the Peace when strife won't cease 3.Jesus is the Love that your in need of Jesus is the Love coming down from Above Just start to Praise Him Feel Love within Jesus is the Love that your in need of.