Pull My Finger
Here's what happened: First in 1958 I won the 'Lucky Sperm Contest'. Then I rested for about three years, mostly in my pajamas. When I turned three I got my first guitar. It was a Popeye guitar - the plastic kind where you turn the crank and it plays like a Jack-in-the-Box. I was (and still am) so good at turning the crank that I played non-stop until my family threatened to beat me to death with it. I stopped. Later when I was about twelve, I farted myself out of a sound sleep while sitting on a folding metal chair in CCD class. The nuns were not impressed, but I was. I still laugh like hell whenever I think of it. Next, I played guitar (a real one!) in a dance band for about thirty years. I've seen brides throw-up on themselves, grooms throw-up on brides, fist-fighting grannies, and other cool stuff. Standing on a stage watching drunken men put the make on stuck-up women has been a great way to make a living. After a while though, if one more bride asked for 'Wind Beneath my Wings' I would have offered to kill her, so I quit. I believe that if something is truly funny, it needs to be repeated. Some of it even needs to be set to music. I think that anyone who disagrees with that should be beaten with a Popeye guitar. This is a collection of hilarious stories guaranteed to make you laugh out loud. You'll wish you had bought TWO copies, because you'll want to share it with a friend, and you would never 'burn' one because that's illegal, and you would go to prison, and then to hell, and that would suck. From the joys of flatulence to the excitement of previously enjoyed women, here is a welcome return to zany, meat and potatoes comedy. No kidding- this stuff is WAY better than the crap they play in church. And funnier too. Here's what the critics have to say: 'Albums like this will take comedy right off the endangered feces list.' The Gloston Bobe. 'It's no surprise that the Brian Weeks Fan Club is growing at such an excremental rate.' The Monthly Rag 'I won. Really....I won.' Al Gore 'A circumcision gone wrong, this be like Jonestown with a much better punch line' The Ebonical Chronical There you have it! Be brave. Remember that time you bought the Carpenters double-album set? Here's you chance to redeem yourself. For a lousy ten bucks! Honestly, I think you're worth it. Thanks for listening.